The things I know about my birth father’s personality I can count on one hand. 1. His birthday was April 15 so, he was an Aries. 2. He was the life of the party. 3. When he smiled, he lit up a room. 4. He could laugh at himself. 5. He loved women (probably too much, it’s what caused his death, but that’s a story for another day).

I like to think that I got my love of life and people from my father. I enjoy being the first one at an event and the last one to leave. I am just as happy to help set up the party or the cleanup afterward. As long as everyone is having a good time, I’m in my happy place.

I’ve been told my father was the first to laugh at himself. I think I’m a lot like that. My mother said my father’s philosophy was a line from a poem by Ella Wheeler Wilcox’s poem “Solitude”. The line is…Laugh and the world laughs with you. If you haven’t read her writing, I encourage you to do so. I love her poetry. The poem itself is a testament that when life is good people want to share in your happiness but when times get tough, you are left to bear your burdens alone. So, the lesson I took from this is to find the joy in all things, it is better to laugh.

Life is too short, and too precious to be unhappy. I’m not saying I don’t have bad days, I do. I just don’t dwell on them and I look for the lessons that usually come from those days. I see so many people struggling, hurting, and sad or angry at where they are or what has happened to them. This life is oftentimes harder than we can imagine but there is beauty here as well.

At this stage in my life, much of the beauty that surrounds me is in the friends I have, those who love me just as I am. They laugh with me and that makes my life richer for the experience. Laughter is good for the soul. I also think it is healing, through all of the troubles and trials of life, laughter has healed my broken pieces.

Laughter is the spark that starts most relationships and I think it is what sustains relationships. There is no better feeling than being able to share laughter with someone you care about. Those moments are so special.

I also use laughter as a coping mechanism. I’m often socially awkward, or clumsy. Rather than feeling uncomfortable, those moments make me giggle inside or laugh out loud, depending on what occurred. Of course, most people don’t realize when I’m internally laughing at myself, but when it happens it helps me shake it off moment and move forward.

I recently heard a talk about anxiety. When you feel anxious and you feel your mind begins to overthink and spin out, catch yourself and take a moment to just breathe, and instead of telling yourself why everything will go wrong, ask yourself, “What if everything goes right?” Take your negative and shine a positive light on it.

Do you use humor or laughter to cope? What makes you laugh? Can you move past the pain of life into joy?

There is a simple joy in just being. Many people don’t truly grasp the concept of living one day at a time, let alone one moment at a time. When you slow everything down to a moment in time, knowing that at this moment it is all it can be. It can’t be redone. It is here and it is gone. So let me be joyful in this moment, with this situation, with me as I am, right now. Then as this moment expands to the next moment let me carry it forward.

I pray you find joy in the hard moments and peace in the years.