Category: Poetry

AI Music and Me

On By charminfothIn encouragement, Humor, Poetry, Social Media, UncategorizedLeave a comment

Hey there, it’s been more than a minute since I’ve posted, and I apologize for not being present. Sometimes life happens, and things get away from you. Sometimes you learn lessons and move on. I wanted to share something fun with you.

A while back, a long-time friend asked me to share a couple of my poems with her. She was playing with AI and wanted to see what she could do with it. I was amazed at the results. I gave her a copy of the first poem I read on stage, Just Like the Tissue. Check out the video below and let me know what you think.

I thought it was funky and cool.

Here’s the link to the original reading.

I’m learning, if there is something you want to try, be it poetry, learning a new skill, climbing mountains, or playing with AI, just do it. Life is too short for regrets. Enjoy the time you have.

Be blessed.

Being Brave

On By charminfothIn encouragement, Faith, Poetry1 Comment

I have ruminated on this post for quite some time. I have often been told I was brave, but I have never, ever viewed myself as brave. So my question is, what do you consider brave?

Miriam Webster defines bravery as the quality or state of having or showing mental or moral strength to face danger, fear, or difficulty: the quality or state of being brave: COURAGE.

I feel guilty saying this (and I pray I don’t jinx myself), but my life right now, at this moment, is easier than it has ever been. That is not an exaggeration, it is a blessing from God. I have a nice place to live, a dependable car, a job I love, people who care about me, food on my table, and clean clothes. I am so thankful for all I have been blessed with, I am awed by it.

My life has not been an easy one, but with every trial, there is a testimony. I believe in the power of testimony, I believe my truths help others so they don’t have the same struggles I’ve had. I believe shared wisdom is shared wealth. Not a monetary wealth that can be gone in an instant but a wealth of spirit that money can’t provide.

I’ve never been monetarily wealthy, but I’ve walked along the French Rivera and through the streets of Rome and Barcelona. I’m not famous, but I’ve been on television. I’m not an author, but you are reading my work. I’m not lonely, but in the quiet times, I’m alone.

Just because you don’t have doesn’t mean you will never get. God places things in our path, people, opportunities, experiences, etc. for a reason or a season. If I choose to ignore the possibilities of what’s in front of me because of what is behind me, I stay rooted in fear. So then, am I brave for moving forward?

I wrote a poem about bravery for a local poetry night and I really struggled with sharing it. I felt as if I was opening a door screaming, “Poor me, look what I’ve been through.” That’s not it at all, it’s just me showing my scars and battle wounds, saying, “See, I’ve healed, you can, too.” The scars remind us where we’ve been, and are a testimony to our resilience, but they shouldn’t hold us back, so here’s me showing my scars.

Being Brave

Bravery is not
What I see in me, you see

I was told I was brave
When I was adopted at 4

I was told I was brave
for starting in a new school in a new town

I was told I was brave
telling an adult what happened

I was told I was brave
running away from it happening again

I was told I was brave
standing up for myself

I was told I was brave
standing in front of a judge

I was told I was brave
for art school instead of college

I was told I was brave
leaving a hospital a widow at 19

I was told I was brave 
moving where no one knew me

I was told I was brave
leaving abusive relationships
again, again, and again

I was told I was brave 
transferring jobs 

I was told I was brave
marrying again

I was told I was brave
leaving everything behind

I was told I was brave
seeking help

I was told I was brave
going to therapy and sharing

I was told I was brave
marrying into the military 

I was told I was brave
traveling alone to a strange country

I was told I was brave
teaching a class

I was told I was brave
volunteering my time

I was told I was brave 
changing careers

I was told I was brave
writing 

I was told I was brave
acting

I was told I was brave
leaving another hospital a widow at 55

I was told I was brave
handling it all with grace

I was told I was brave
dating again

I was told I was brave
standing on this stage

I was told I was brave
with purple hair

I was told I was brave
showing my scars 

I was told I was brave
for so many things

I was told I was brave
Surviving

I was told I was brave
but  I'm not

I was told I was brave

Sometimes being brave is just putting one foot in front of the other and moving forward. Everyone has troubled times. There is nothing special about me, other than I am a child of God, created to share love and be loved. What else do I need? Life is good. Be brave.

Thanks for reading.

Ghosts of the Past

On By charminfothIn encouragement, Love, PoetryLeave a comment

A poem by Charmin Foth

Video – the trial run of the poem before heading to the poetry slam.

Ghosts of the Past (updated as it was spoken at the Knoxville Poetry Slam on 10-11-23

Viciously propelled back 

Time stands dead still

I feel attacked

Is this ghost of you from my past real?

Seeing you through the eyes of the girl I once was 

My heart shatters the ceiling 

Electric Shock

My brain is abuzz

My world rocked

I’m Physically reeling 

My Venom and butterflies

These feelings coincide

Mercury running through my veins

It all seems so ill-advised

A dreadful pull and a violent push

A rush

An obliterated crush

A Terror and Triumph

Yet a gut punch with an audible oomph

I try to contain

My spinning brain

How

After so many years

Why now

I was thankful you were in my rearview

Yet there you are, this is too bizarre 

Here stands the ghost of you 

Alongside the real me

Remembering the ghost of you

Hit by a tree

Pleading on bended knee

The good, the bad

The black and the blue

The danger of you

The stranger

I became to myself

My tortured mental health

All the heart-wrenching pain

The exhausted drain

All the tries

All the lies

Calling the law 

The last straw

The hard-fought healing

The struggle for growth

The inevitable rebirth

Into the person I am now

The ghost of me is long gone

On the horizon is a new brilliant dawn

A stronger woman fills the space

and Leaves behind the hate

Never traveling backwards

Always pressing forward

The struggle that nearly killed me built my character

My tale of woe becomes an encourager

Your ghost has been exorcized

And is finally gone

Step into the warm sunshine of a new dawn

Laugh

On By charminfothIn encouragement, Faith, Humor, Personality, PoetryLeave a comment

The things I know about my birth father’s personality I can count on one hand. 1. His birthday was April 15 so, he was an Aries. 2. He was the life of the party. 3. When he smiled, he lit up a room. 4. He could laugh at himself. 5. He loved women (probably too much, it’s what caused his death, but that’s a story for another day).

I like to think that I got my love of life and people from my father. I enjoy being the first one at an event and the last one to leave. I am just as happy to help set up the party or the cleanup afterward. As long as everyone is having a good time, I’m in my happy place.

I’ve been told my father was the first to laugh at himself. I think I’m a lot like that. My mother said my father’s philosophy was a line from a poem by Ella Wheeler Wilcox’s poem “Solitude”. The line is…Laugh and the world laughs with you. If you haven’t read her writing, I encourage you to do so. I love her poetry. The poem itself is a testament that when life is good people want to share in your happiness but when times get tough, you are left to bear your burdens alone. So, the lesson I took from this is to find the joy in all things, it is better to laugh.

Life is too short, and too precious to be unhappy. I’m not saying I don’t have bad days, I do. I just don’t dwell on them and I look for the lessons that usually come from those days. I see so many people struggling, hurting, and sad or angry at where they are or what has happened to them. This life is oftentimes harder than we can imagine but there is beauty here as well.

At this stage in my life, much of the beauty that surrounds me is in the friends I have, those who love me just as I am. They laugh with me and that makes my life richer for the experience. Laughter is good for the soul. I also think it is healing, through all of the troubles and trials of life, laughter has healed my broken pieces.

Laughter is the spark that starts most relationships and I think it is what sustains relationships. There is no better feeling than being able to share laughter with someone you care about. Those moments are so special.

I also use laughter as a coping mechanism. I’m often socially awkward, or clumsy. Rather than feeling uncomfortable, those moments make me giggle inside or laugh out loud, depending on what occurred. Of course, most people don’t realize when I’m internally laughing at myself, but when it happens it helps me shake it off moment and move forward.

I recently heard a talk about anxiety. When you feel anxious and you feel your mind begins to overthink and spin out, catch yourself and take a moment to just breathe, and instead of telling yourself why everything will go wrong, ask yourself, “What if everything goes right?” Take your negative and shine a positive light on it.

Do you use humor or laughter to cope? What makes you laugh? Can you move past the pain of life into joy?

There is a simple joy in just being. Many people don’t truly grasp the concept of living one day at a time, let alone one moment at a time. When you slow everything down to a moment in time, knowing that at this moment it is all it can be. It can’t be redone. It is here and it is gone. So let me be joyful in this moment, with this situation, with me as I am, right now. Then as this moment expands to the next moment let me carry it forward.

I pray you find joy in the hard moments and peace in the years.

Ella Wheeler Wilcox - It is easy enough to be pleasant when life flows by like a song.

Afraid of the Heart

On By charminfothIn Faith, PoetryLeave a comment
Heart in the sand on the beach
Photo by Ave Calvar Martinez on Pexels.com
Where are you
coming from
Where are you 
going

Lost in the shuffle
Feeling alone 
In the bustle
Listening, waiting
For the tussle

You don’t know
When the trouble
Will come
When it does 
It will be double

That’s always been
Your pattern
Your past
So you guard 
Your heart 
Thinking love
Will never last

You sit quietly alone
Content to chew on memories
Like a dog with a bone

Afraid to let go
And fall
For fear of hitting the wall
Fearing the chance
Not willing to dance

Empty is what you know
Your heart could be full
If you only let go

But you are afraid of the heart
Never wanting to be torn apart
Again
But if not now,
When

So you exist in the blues
Not sad, but true
Waiting for something sweet
just beyond your reach

You're thinking
Is it worth the fire
To forge the steel
Why try for something real

I understand how you feel
Me too, I am just like you
Can I open my heart 
and begin to feel

The heart is strong
Beating on as if nothing is wrong
Fear is the beast
That makes us weak
Waiting to tear us apart
It was never the heart

How do I lose the fear
Of the heart
I trust it to someone
Who created it to be strong
He's been with me all along

My prayer for you,
Is that you know Him too.