When you think of perfection, what does your mind’s eye conjure up?

Models, movie stars, mean girls, men climbing the corporate ladder, I could go on and on. Or maybe it’s the negative side of self-talk you feed yourself. I’m not pretty enough, thin enough, smart enough, tall enough, dark enough, light enough, whatever you tell yourself when you feel you don’t measure up.

As women, we tend to compare ourselves to whoever is trending, what Hollywood look is in, or sometimes just who is prevalent in our own circles of connection. Men wrestle with self-esteem issues, too.

I think we do ourselves a disservice when we compare ourselves to others. The judgment we pile onto ourselves and others because they don’t look or think a certain way weighs us down in ways we aren’t even aware of. I see people spew hate and discontent because they aren’t happy with themselves. Those people in turn feel the need to make others feel as discontented as they are. They long for people to see the world through the same scarred lenses they do.

There is a story in the Bible where Saul becomes Paul. Specifically where the scales fall from his eyes and he can see again. He is a changed man, a new man. He no longer looks at the world in the same way. Acts 9:18 “Immediately, something like scales fell from Saul’s eyes, and he could see again.”

I think we all have times in our lives when the scales have to be removed from our eyes and we can see life differently, we become forever changed. Saul was a terrible person, he did horrific things, but God changed him and used him in ways he could never imagine.

Oftentimes we trudge along through life seeing only one way. We judge how our lives could have been or should have been because we were told it should be this or that. Maybe we compare it to what we see our neighbors have. We struggle to make ours just like theirs because it looks perfect to us. However, we only see one side of things. What happens on the other side may be a whole different picture. It isn’t until something upsets the view that we come away seeing things differently.

We have to stop looking for perfection and realize we are all God’s handiwork. The stitching may appear haphazard, but when you flip the tapestry over, it’s beautiful, it’s what God sees as perfect. Our eyes do not see things the same way.

When I was much younger I felt so detached from everything, my family life was estranged, my self-esteem was nonexistent, and I believed I deserved every bad thing that came my way. And believe me a lot of bad came my way. I put myself directly in the middle of the wrong path, thinking I could never be anything else. I thought I was damaged beyond repair. I could never obtain anything close to perfection.

Then someone told me God doesn’t make junk, but people do. We make piles and piles of junk every day with the criticism and pain we heap upon each other and ourselves as we strive for perfection that doesn’t exist. Perfection is only an illusion created by a comparison we create.

Imagine how boring the world would be if we were all alike. I want to be the brightly colored thread in the tapestry I referenced earlier. On the underside, I am knotted and pieced together, but on the upper side, I am the strand that helps pull it all together and enriches all of the strands that surround me.

You can’t make a beautiful tapestry with one thread of the same color and thickness, it takes many strands all woven together to make it beautiful. We all have our own unique talents and gifts to bring to the party of life. Don’t compare your gifts or your story to another, you were put in place to come alongside someone who needs your gifts and your story as much as you need to share it. It is by sharing we make each other beautiful and perfect in God’s eyes.

How do we stop striving to be something we aren’t? Or stop emulating someone’s shallow persona? How do we learn to just be who we are?

I believe we are here to show kindness and love, to come alongside each other, and to help each other get through every day as it comes. I know this sounds utopian, and you don’t have to share my beliefs or even agree with me, but I hope you pull something positive from this.

Trust me I am far from perfect. I just know for me, when I stopped searching for perfection, I found myself. And, even with all my imperfections, I like who I am. I actually think all my imperfections make me a little more interesting. There is good and bad in everyone, I pray every day, that my good outweighs my bad.

Be blessed, gentle reader.